We would all love our children to grow up empowered, happy and confident – but what does that actually mean? Do you believe that if they can fit in socially and do well at school, they will be okay in life, and that will ensure their success?
Maybe not… and maybe there is a whole new and different way to function, which empowers both you and the child.
You as the parent offer the example which is emulated by the child – so how about starting by empowering yourself.
Notice your conversation around your child – do you complain a lot – about your job, collegues, family or financial situation. How much of what you speak about is negative? This is how the child learns, so are you offering them coping skills in life or are you teaching them to be powerless or a professional victim too.
Remember, we cannot control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond.
Become more aware of the words you use, and if you are playing the leading role in the soapy you have created, and did you know that being hooked on drama can be addictive. Repeating the horror stories you see on the news falls into the same category.
So stop feeding the issues by instantly reacting to them and building the drama around them. Now is the time to step up and be a leader in your own life, looking for the greatest possibility in everything, and stop going to the limitation, wrongness, or judgment of anything or anyone (especially you!). Be willing to know what works for YOU and to follow that awareness (not aligning with or reacting to anyone else).
Take a step back and begin to look at life as an observer rather than being centre stage. You will probably find that as an observer you see things that you never noticed before, and could begin to find solutions to the situations.
Here are some more suggestions of what you can do differently that will empower your child to be the leader of their own lives and futures.
Take control out of the equation.
When you were a kid, and people tried to control you, how much did you like that? Did it make life better for you? Or did it make you want to fight and rebel? The thing is that when we are fighting and rebelling, we are not actually choosing what might be in our best interest, we are just reacting against something. What if, instead of trying to manage and control them, you could make them responsible for their lives and to know that there are consequences for the choices they make.
We are all so much more aware than we know
Children are actually aware of far more around them than we give them credit for. Acknowledging them for what they are aware of empowers them to see the capacities and brilliance they have, and to also acknowledge the contribution they are in the world.
Are children told they are a contribution, or more often than not, are they told over and over that because they are small, they are also helpless, limited, a cost or a liability?
Inviting them to acknowledge what they know is as simple as asking them questions such as:
“What do you know about this?”
“Can you help me?”
“Does this feel truth to you?”
“What would you like to create?”
“Would you be willing to contribute to this showing up?”
“What do you know that would allow this to show up way easier?”
Have this conversation over the dinner table – so the child begins to learn how to find solutions and handle issues that may seem insurmountable. As you become the leader in your life, you become the invitation for the child to become that in their own lives.
Listening to them, and acknowledging their contribution will empower them more than you could ever imagine….
If you are open to working with colour therapy, the colour yellow helps to calm stress and fear and builds a stronger sense of self and empowerment, while inviting more joy into your life.
Penni du Plessis
Divine space Colour therapist and Consciousness Coaching
www.divinespace.co.za